This is my very first blog so bare with me.
Metaphorically, as the title says; this is the first day of the rest of my life. Funny, I thought this to be the case four years ago. I had a fresh start, a new love, and a new location and I swore that this is were it all begins. Truth of the matter is that I couldn't have been more wrong. I still had unresolved issues, incomplete obligations, shattered relationships, and disappointed loved ones. In hindsight, nothing was new it was just more stuff thrown on top of old problem. For it to have been a true "fresh start"; I had to take care of unfinished business first and here I am four years later; back where I had started. No job, no income, and not too much of anything else.
I still have a shattered relationship with my family. I don't know when was the last time i spoke to my own grandmother, I can't even look my aunt in the eye. I have cousin I love dearly but, I don't know how to communicate or express what they mean to me. I have uncles ...well let's not go there right now. I'll save that for another blog. SMH. I have had women in and out of my life. Some good, most of them bad, and two that should have lasted a lifetime. Unfortunately, I was too ignorant, arrogant, and selfish to fully comprehend what it all meant to me.
I have four beautiful daughters. Yes, four daughters; that mean the world to me. Consequently, I am at a lose because I can only share my time with only two of them at this time. which is ironic because when i thought i would have had a good life I could only share this joy with only two of them at that time. This caused pain on all side and I didn't know how to correct this problem. I had tons of advice to hand out but, none for myself, which made life a little more complicated.
My point to all this is that I had these problems before and all I did was piled more shit on top of it. Never getting to the root of the problem, never resolving none of my issues I had. So here I am now trying to shovel some the shit I had thrown onto my life and it's a small shovel (more like a spoon) but, it's working wonders right now. As I write this blog I am making a pledge to take two steps forward for every step back I make. Thank you for taking the time to read this. God Bless and good day (Russell Simmons impression)
